On Purpose
by Dean Phelan © Copyright 2022
Discovering our life’s purpose. or as the Telstra ad says: our “Why”, is found through action and reflection on our values and what gives us life, and comparing this with what is toxic and drains life out of us. For some, our Why is like a golden thread that can be seen as we look back on what we’ve been most committed to and done best in our life and career; for others it is a way of being or expression that is us at our best and giving life to others.
Our purpose is within
Finding our purpose can be compared to Michelangelo’s approach to sculpture - Michelangelo observed “The sculpture is already within the marble block, before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.”
“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” - Michelangelo’s Angel 1494-95
A similar analogy is intentionally searching for and finding gold in a riverbed. We research and search until we find a glint in the mud. We excitedly scrape away the dirt and mud to reveal the nugget so it then gleams gold in the light.
Our values are our compass
But, the finding of our purpose is not something we aimlessly stumble upon, or grit our teeth and start hacking away at a marble block hoping to shape it into something special. Our values are our inner compass needle for guiding us in the way we should go.
We each have deeply held values - those things that are really important in the way we live and work - and they're probably the measures we use to tell if our life is turning out the way we want it to. When the things we do and the way we behave match our highest truths and values, life usually feels good – we're content and things feel right. But when these don't align, or are conflicted, that's when things don’t feel right… and we feel unhappy.
Finding our true self requires connecting head and heart
Yet, a challenge in clarifying what’s truly important to us, is that we often identify our values in our heads more than our hearts. We are shaped by our upbringing and environment. We are all influenced by the people we admire, mix with, fashion trends and the prevailing views of the tribes we identify with. We believe and espouse certain values, yet our actions sometimes reveal there are actually other deeper things at play. Discrepancies between espoused values and actions are legendary. That is why honest self reflection and getting in touch with our heart as well as our head, is so important.
Sometimes our sense of vocation or calling is felt as a voice of moral demand that asks us to take on a cause by becoming someone we are not — someone different, someone better, someone “more admirable”. It’s great to do good works and to have goals - as long as they are our goals, and we are not aspiring to be somebody else. See The Story of Rabbi Zusya's final words at the end of this resource.
In an article titled Now I Become Myself - How do you find the right work, the work that you alone are called to do? Parker Palmer says that it can take a long time to become the person one has always been. Often in the process we mask ourselves in faces that are not our own.
Courage and Faith are also required
Clarifying our highest truths and deepest values i.e. what we stand for, and would be prepared to put our body on the line for, can be enormously freeing. True self insight can be very motivating. Yet for many of us, there are two other ingredients in moving forward called “Faith and Courage”. Even after being clearer about what we stand for, we can still experience anxiety about committing to a pathway or decision… in case we get it wrong. We are fearful of the consequences of making the wrong decision, so we avoid making any decision … and then we feel stuck. Courage and faith are required to step forward even though we can’t see what lies ahead around the corner.
“Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark”. RabindranathTagore
It’s a step by step journey
Experience and wisdom has shown that taking one step guided by what we value and gives us life, generally leads to the next step being clearer, … and then the next step… and so forth. It is a journey rather than a right/wrong computer program. The fabulous Michael Leunig said it this way in How to Get There:
Go to the end of the path until you get to the gate.
Go through the gate and head straight out towards the horizon.
Keep going towards the horizon.
Sit down and have a rest every now and again,
But keep on going, just keep on with it.
Keep on going as far as you can.
That’s how you get there.
And the great Irish poet, philosopher and writer on Celtic spirituality John O'Donohue wrote:
“There is nothing to fear in the act of beginning. More often than not it knows the journey ahead better than we ever could. Perhaps the art of harvesting the secret riches of our lives is best achieved when we place profound trust in the act of beginning. Risk might be our greatest ally. To live a truly creative life, we always need to cast a critical look at where we presently are, attempting always to discern where we have become stagnant and where new beginning might be ripening. There can be no growth if we do not remain open and vulnerable to what is new and different. I have never seen anyone take a risk for growth that was not rewarded a thousand times over”.
Our purpose is within us, and it is found and shaped by listening, observing, reflecting and action guided by our values and passion… followed by more thought about what we’ve learned.. and so on as we journey... It is an iterative process of lifelong action, contemplation and courage to step forward. We learn and discover ourselves by doing what we love and value, and learning from our doing. Michelangelo again said it well: “It is well with me only when I have a chisel in my hand.”
Lifelong learning
After working each day on his famous statue of David, Michelangelo would study cadavers to learn more of how the human body worked. Taking what he learned and applying it to his work, he became the first sculptor to show veins and arteries and detailed muscle structures. The result, of course, was absolute mastery. “If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all” - Michelangelo.
A sense of vocation
Our purpose is found in a sense of rightness about what we are trying to do… a feeling of being put on this earth to make a difference… a sense of call beyond ourselves to be of service… a sense of vocation (from the Latin vocare "to call.") that we feel committed to . “Many believe - and I believe - that I have been designated for this work by God. In spite of my old age, I do not want to give it up; I work out of love for God and I put all my hope in Him.” - Michelangelo
A positive grain of sand
In my opinion, the great philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson summed up the purpose of life beautifully. “To laugh often and much: To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded”.
It is not about carrying the weight of some great expectations, but rather simply contributing “a positive grain of sand” of uplift and encouragement to the people and circumstances we encounter on our journey each day:
The following diagrams can be helpful tools for thinking about your life’s purpose (with acknowledgement to Ikigai - a Japanese concept referring to something that gives a person a sense of purpose, a reason for living).:
“Let the beauty of what you love be what you do” - Rumi
And from Howard Thurman (1899-1981 author, philosopher, theologian, educator, and mentor to Martin Luther King): “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are truly alive” .
Parker Palmer’s wonderful little book: Let Your Life Speak is also an insightful and moving resource on finding one's true calling. The book's title is a time-honored Quaker admonition, usually taken to mean "Let the highest truths and values guide everything you do." But Palmer reinterprets those words, drawing on his own search for selfhood. "Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it," he writes, "listen for what it intends to do with you. Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent. "Vocation does not come from wilfulness, no matter how noble one's intentions. It comes from listening to and accepting "true self" with its limits as well as its potentials”
The story of Rabbi Zusya's final words is a well-known anecdote in Jewish folklore, illustrating the idea of self-acceptance and living an authentic life:
Rabbi Zusya of Hanipol was a revered Hasidic rabbi who was known for his deep piety and wisdom. As he grew older and his health began to decline, his disciples gathered around him, concerned about their beloved teacher's impending death. One day, sensing that his time on this earth was drawing to a close, Rabbi Zusya gathered his disciples and said, "My dear students, I wish to share with you a profound insight I have gained on my journey through life."
The disciples leaned in, eager to hear their teacher's wisdom. Rabbi Zusya continued, "In the coming world, after I leave this earthly realm, I believe I will not be asked why I was not Moses, the great leader and prophet of our people. No, my dear friends, they will not ask me, 'Why were you not Moses?' Instead, I believe I will be asked, 'Why were you not Zusya?'"
His disciples were puzzled and asked, "But Rabbi, why would anyone ask you that? You have lived a life of devotion and righteousness. You have been a guiding light to us all."
Rabbi Zusya smiled and replied, "I appreciate your kind words, but I am not afraid of divine judgment. What I mean to convey is this: each of us is created with unique qualities, talents, and a divine purpose. God did not create us to be someone else but to be our true selves. We must strive to fulfill our individual potential, to be the best versions of ourselves, and to embrace our unique paths. It is not enough to compare ourselves to others, for each of us has a distinct role to play in the grand tapestry of creation."
His disciples understood the profound wisdom in his words. They realized that Rabbi Zusya was reminding them of the importance of self-acceptance and authenticity. Each person is created with a purpose, and they should not be burdened by the impossible task of being someone they are not. Rabbi Zusya's final message was a call to live life authentically, to be the best version of themselves, and to fulfill their unique destinies.
With these final words, Rabbi Zusya closed his eyes and peacefully passed away, leaving his disciples with a valuable lesson that would continue to resonate through generations. The story of Rabbi Zusya's wisdom has since become a source of inspiration for people of various faiths, emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself and embracing one's individuality.